If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
