There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
another moral hangover. fuck.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
