I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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