My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
