When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
