is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize