I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
