I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
