dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
