2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I love you. Go after that dick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
