whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
