girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
