I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
