I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize