when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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