Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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