I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's official drugs can't kill me
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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