I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize