i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
tell me about the fingering
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