May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
