You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize