I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
