I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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