If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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