dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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