Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wish they made helmets for livers.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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