Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
