But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
