wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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