ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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