i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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