Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just tell him i said nine months
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Randomize
