My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I would fuck him just for his dog
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