I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
