Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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