do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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