wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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