wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
