yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize