So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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