hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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