Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
