OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize