He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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