is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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