break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
