this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize