Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
