No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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