There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
