I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize