You can't special order awesome
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
