never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
