dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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