Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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