Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If that was your dad, he is hot
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
