why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
