6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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