I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
