I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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