where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Mom said you looked used
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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