some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
