JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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