I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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