this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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