so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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