New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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