At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
