I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
