Don't you send me to vm
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
