I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
